Slow and steady.

I said before that it's impossible to do this all at once. We can't just flip a switch and become budgeters, savers, healthy eaters, mental giants, and Zen thinkers. I think it's so important to see this is a process. I also think it's important to create one habit before you pile another on.


When I had the baby, I was motivated. I was on maternity leave, and I wanted to get things just perfect for him. That included fixing up my house, fixing up my budget, and fixing up my body. I joined a gym, looked at wallpaper samples, scrubbed my kitchen floor, worked harder than ever on my budgeting skills, and gave up cigarettes.

And all that lasted about fifteen minutes.

The only thing I'm still going strong on is the budget. And it's been a year.

But that budget thing? It's second nature to me now. It's really not hard at all. I kinda look forward to checking it every week and then matching up our spending with what I imagined we'd spend to see if I was on track. I even sort of thrive on the challenge of living for a few days on very few dollars if we use up our spending money too fast in a week. I get a kick out of seeing what I can concoct for dinner with a half a bag of frozen shrimp and a half a head of cabbage.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Also, I think it's important at this point to talk about rewards. My husband is big on rewards. Last night I told him we had a small influx of cash coming. Of course, in my mind, the whole thing was going to savings, but he suggested we take a little out and treat ourselves to sushi. "We've been so gooooood," he said. "I think we deserve it."

I am careful with that word: deserve. Frankly, I don't think I deserve jack shit. I am lucky to have what I have, and I don't like to entitle myself to things. I don't deserve sushi. I want sushi.

And wants are something I work hard to control these days.

HOWEVER. All work and no play, yada yada. I realize it's important once in awhile for us to treat ourselves, let down our financial guard, and do something that we'll both enjoy. I just do it with an iota of caution, and of course, I PLAN for it.

If we are going to have sushi, that's great. I will work it into the budget, and I'll make a mental note of it. Rewarding ourselves is something we can only do infrequently, when we've met a rather significant goal. I don't reward myself for trying. I reward myself for succeeding. I don't treat myself just because it's been awhile, I treat myself because I made myself a promise, and I kept it.

So that is Step 3. Reward yourself, but do it wisely. When you meet a goal, find a way to celebrate it. And listen here: your goals have to be SIGNIFICANT. I mean, we could reward ourselves for brushing our teeth every morning, but we wouldn't be doing ourselves any favors, would we?

I suggest that when you start to feel like you need a treat for yourself, consider how you will feel after. I may want to spend fifty bucks on a fun meal out, but I have to decide if I want that more than I want to not be broke at the end of the month, or more than I want to be able to buy that new tv in a few months for the bedroom.

But the most important thing is this: stay healthy. We cannot stay inside all day, afraid to spend a penny. We have to socialize, see people, visit the world. And sometimes that costs money. Which is where the budget and the spending money come in. When we deprive ourselves of basic needs, we also don't do ourselves any favors. We decompensate, and eventually we fall of the wagon.

Balance, balance. Slow and steady wins the race.